Negotiation Skills: Learning the Art of Persuasion

Negotiation skills are essential, particularly for key client facing roles. The word “negotiate” comes from the Latin term negotium, meaning “work” or “assignment” (as opposed to otium, meaning “idleness” or “rest”). It highlights the skills required to reach a common goal when there is a disagreement or confrontation between two or more parties.

One negotiates, for example, when asking for a salary increase, purchasing a house and aiming to reach a fair price, or discussing deadlines for the delivery of a project.

Whatever the reason behind negotiations, mastering techniques to achieve shared goals is important, and benefits all parties involved.

In this article, we will explore three key aspects of improving negotiation skills: the importance of trust, essential skills for negotiating successfully in various situations, such as wage increases, and general strategies for honing these abilities.

The Importance of Trust

An old adage says, “Trusting is good, not trusting is better.” While this proverb reflects a certain caution rooted in folk wisdom, it does not apply during negotiations.

In fact, trust is the cornerstone of any successful negotiation. Without trust, the process is likely to end in dissatisfaction for all parties involved.

But what does it mean to build trust in the context of negotiations? Let’s explore this in detail.

How to Establish a Climate of Trust

Trust is a strategic lever in any negotiation, and without it, progress stalls. If people don’t trust each other and are constantly ready to undermine one another, negotiations will fail.

This scenario may seem overly pessimistic, but it’s more common than we might think. Consider the typical situation where an employee is requesting a pay raise. If the employee enters the negotiation believing that the raise will never be granted, feels unappreciated, or thinks that the person across the table doesn’t recognize their talents, productive negotiation is impossible. Similarly, if the HR representative or manager lacks the willingness to listen—perhaps due to fatigue, cognitive bias, or being distracted by other tasks—or if the negotiation is rushed and squeezed between other meetings, there can be no meaningful negotiation.

Building trust before a negotiation requires a fair and transparent approach, ensuring that each party believes in the other’s integrity and intentions. If, instead, the negotiation relies on bluffing, manipulating, or exploiting weaknesses, it cannot lead to a mutually beneficial outcome.

Trust, therefore, must be cultivated.

So, how can you create an environment of trust in a negotiation?

Here are some suggestions:

• Start strong: First impressions matter. Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal communication in the opening moments. How you shake hands, where you direct your gaze, and offering a sincere smile are all crucial for setting the tone.
• Be transparent: Sharing information shows openness. This doesn’t mean revealing every detail, but offering relevant facts builds trust and signals that you’re willing to put everything on the table.
• Keep your word: Stick to any commitments made before the negotiation. For example, if you promised a 30-minute meeting, don’t start by saying you only have 15 minutes. Breaking such promises disrupts trust and undermines the conversation.
• Practice empathy and active listening: This can be challenging but is essential. Focus on what the other person is saying, not just how they are saying it or their gestures. Taking notes or writing down key points can help you stay engaged and attentive.
• Be consistent: Consistency in your behavior strengthens the perception that you are trustworthy and transparent, which is critical in any negotiation.
• Find common ground: Recognizing shared experiences or interests can help ease tensions and build trust. Starting with a shared moment, passion, or memory can create a bond that benefits the negotiation process.

Skills for Successful Salary Negotiations

Salary negotiations deserve special attention, as they are a pivotal moment in anyone’s career. From the HR perspective, it’s equally important, as they must balance employee expectations with the company’s business needs and objectives.

Here are some key skills needed for successful salary negotiations:

Market Knowledge and Preparation

While the person asking for a salary increase certainly needs to know the market value of their role and the salaries offered in similar industries, the same is true for HR, which needs to stay up to date on industry salary trends.

HR should be aware not only of the market salary averages for each role, but also the specifics of the industry and the geographic region in which the company operates.

Such benchmarking benefits both parties: it helps employees understand what they can reasonably ask for and expect, and it equips HR to approach negotiations with hard data, justifying offers or refusals.

Knowing One’s Goals and Limitations

Salary negotiations provide an opportunity that goes beyond discussing compensation. They allow both sides to not only define the ideal salary or what the company can offer but also to gain a clear understanding of their goals, priorities, and limitations.

Both parties must be aware of these factors, as negotiations typically come at the end of a process that begins much earlier with research, discussions with others, and self-reflection.

Ability to Communicate Transparently

Communication skills are essential on both sides of the negotiation table. As mentioned earlier, transparency is crucial, and it’s important to use the right words to clearly convey your position. For someone requesting a raise, it’s not enough to simply state how long they’ve been with the company or to point out that a colleague received a raise. Instead, it’s important to emphasize your skills, the impact your work has on the company, the results you’ve achieved, and the responsibilities you are ready to take on.

Demonstrating a clear connection between your skills and the value you bring to the organization makes your request more legitimate and easier to accept.

HR, on the other hand, must also be clear and transparent. They should clearly explain the company’s policies regarding pay, bonuses, and any budget limitations, as well as making timelines for decisions and outcomes understood. Equally important is managing difficult conversations by employing active listening, empathy, and avoiding any form of bias, including unconscious bias.

General Strategies for Improving Negotiation Skills

Beyond specific cases, there are general strategies that can enhance negotiation skills in any context. Here are some key suggestions:

Developing a Collaborative Mindset

As mentioned earlier, negotiation is not a game where one side wins and the other loses. Instead, it is an opportunity to reach a win-win agreement that satisfies both parties. This is only possible if you avoid becoming entrenched in your positions, roles, or beliefs, and remain open to confronting and understanding the other side. Dialogue is essential, not just during the negotiation itself, but also beforehand—both with yourself, to gain a clear understanding of what you expect and what you’re willing to compromise, and with others who can offer advice if needed.

Building Negotiation Skills Through Daily Interactions

Contrary to popular belief, our lives are filled with continuous negotiations, not just in the workplace. Think about the times you’ve made arrangements for a family dinner, taking everyone’s preferences into account, or when planning a vacation with a partner.

These are all opportunities for practice. Each time you find yourself negotiating or debating a decision, it can be helpful to reflect on how it went and how you felt, gradually refining your skills with each interaction.

Controlling One’s Emotions

Controlling emotions during negotiations is by no means easy, yet the success of the negotiation often depends on how well you can manage them. Those who wish to negotiate effectively must learn to control emotions such as anger, disappointment, overconfidence, and other emotional responses.

The Role of Coaching in Improving Negotiation Skills

The strategies mentioned so far can be learned or refined through business coaching, a powerful tool for enhancing negotiation skills.

By focusing on both personal and professional development, coaching helps increase self-awareness—an essential factor, as we’ve seen, in negotiations—and improves soft skills and relationship-building abilities.