It’s the end of the world as we know it (and HR feel fine). Right?
A good friend of mine, we’ll call her M, is a Director of People at an international tech startup. She recently had a “A Day in the Life of HR” virtual fireside chat with her company.
Her opening statement left many shocked.
“There’s no such thing as a day in the life of HR. Each unique day brings with it equally harrowing, depressing, upsetting, and challenging aspects of seeing your best people in their worst possible moments.”
“Being a ‘professional carer’ in HR is emotionally exhausting and has an impact on all areas of your life, both work-related and personal. There’s no pause button on catastrophe when it strikes.”
The facts speak for themselves. A study by Lattice indicated that 60% of HR professionals surveyed gave “emotional exhaustion” as their biggest challenge.
What is compassion fatigue?
It’s a condition associated with those in caregiving professions such as nurses, doctors, veterinarians, teachers, social workers… and HR professionals. Compassion fatigue hits when constant exposure to others’ pain results in a diminished capacity to empathize with others. To put it bluntly, one just simply runs out of care to give.
Compassion fatigue in HR is real. The Lattice study showed that 90% of HR professionals reported an increase in their stress levels since 2020, and another report showed that 71% of HR team members said that 2020 was the most stressful year of their careers.
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HR as invisible first responders
The unsung heroes of our organizations, HR professionals are the ‘first’ and ‘last’ emergency responders to everything and anything. M is a robust, pragmatic, and endlessly upbeat leader whose first year in the role of head of HR had the dubious honor of featuring the continuation of a global pandemic, war, recession, inflation, mass layoffs, the return of fascism in Western Europe, the end of women’s reproductive freedom in the U.S, ongoing racial tensions around the world, and a harvest of other worldwide crises (sadly) too abundant to list.
“That’s not even including HR employees’ own personal difficulties, like mental health struggles, relationship breakdowns, bereavement, and being laid off,” said M.
While contending with merely an iota of this would have most of us filing for early retirement, handling the effect of complex and sensitive world and personal issues for employees is the daily bread and butter of HR, more so that the tame usual suspects of hiring, firing, and payroll. The emphasis is on doing more, hiring more, retaining more. But who cares about the people who care about our people?
HR are employees too
M added a very important but overlooked truth as she said, “It’s easy to forget that HR are people too, as well as employees. We experience the same life challenges and work turbulence as non-HR colleagues. We care, and it’s our job to care, but the emotional rebound effect is great and it’s very hard to shake off all of this in an average day.”
Some tips for combatting compassion fatigue
Here are some ways that HR professionals and organizations can help cushion the emotional toll and help manage compassion fatigue:
1. Recognize the symptoms
First, it’s vital to understand what you’re experiencing. Some symptoms of compassion fatigue include:
- Sleeping problems
- Intrusive thoughts
- Hyper-vigilance
- Anxiety, depression
- Isolation and disconnection
- Coping behaviors such as substance abuse
- Increased irritability, cynicism, negativity and apathy
2. Recognize the contributors
Next, it’s key to understand some of the causes so that those can be minimized or even eliminated. Some aggravating factors include:
- Prolonged exposure to others’ difficulties
- Long working hours
- Excessive demands
- Personal isolation
3. Follow the oxygen mask rule
Similarly, to the cardinal rule of emergency situations, the oxygen mask rule mandates that you put your own oxygen mask on before attempting to assist others. In an HR context, you should focus on your self-care first before focusing on others’. Take care of your mental health, wellbeing, nutrition, and sleep patterns so that you can best navigate the curveballs of life and work. Exercise, maintain a good work-life balance, learn how to disconnect — all these measures will help you feel at your most capable and calm in times of flux.
4. Hire outside support
Organizations can take the burden off HR by bringing in trained professionals to offer support to employees, such as occupational psychologists or professional coaches who are certified through organizations like the International Coaching Federation (ICF), which is the governing body for professional coaches all around the world.
5. Have your own confidant(e)
HR professionals should also take advantage of outside help, by having their own coach, therapist, or objective third-party that they can share their own challenges with for feedback and problem-solving. Psychologists and therapists do the same — therapists have therapists and need them as sounding boards for self-reflection and advice.
6. Reframe and rethink
Ultimately, those drawn to caring professionals are “pathological carers”: those for whom caring and empathy are at the heart of who they are. As M put it, “The goal is always to put yourself in the shoes of another to find a fair and kind solution.” This can be achieved so that a caring and giving nature can be put back into focus by reframing and rethinking. Reframing happens when we recognize that we are doing difficult but meaningful work in an organization. HR professionals should honor themselves and be proud of their contributions and know that they are ultimately part of the solution.
Rethinking is when we connect a personal meaning and motivation to helping others, understand if and why we put our colleagues needs before our own, and then realize that we need to take care of ourselves first — otherwise we will have nothing to give others.
